Why No One REALLY Believes In The Lyrics To "Imagine"

There is rarely a time that I hear the song "Imagine" when I don't get a little choked up and sentimental towards a hopeful world-peace-reality. The anarchic, atheistic, socialistic, rebellious nature of the song has somehow worked its way into the heart of Americana, where even the most pious of listeners will admit they love the song and that somehow it is definitive of some overarching philosophy we should all belong to...and I agree, some of the time. Well, most of the time. Well, almost not at all.

As a writer and musician and teacher, I approach the song for what it's worth: a radical look at the fabric of society, and how to create a lowest common denominator so that we can, one day, end war.

A few steps:

Nobody Really Believes in Heaven, but yet Almost Everyone Does.

To "Imagine there's no Heaven / It's easy if you try / No hell below us / Above us only sky" is pretty simple unless, like MOST people you've been raised with an idea of Zoroastor's Hell-Heaven dynamic. Most people want bad people to suffer for their crimes and then be rewarded for their own good doing. Even the most lapsed Catholic isn't going to give up her idea of some Titantic-ending-like Heaven where Leo welcomes her to the party. 


However! If pressed, people WILL admit that Heaven is a tricky idea, like Santa Claus' system of naughty and nice. And those fundamentalists will be a little shy to tell you that they believe in a stark Hell-Heaven contrast. Just imagine how hard it is to say "I believe in Heaven and Hell, and you're going to Hell. Now...you wanna hang out?"


However! If John wanted us to imagine there was no Judgment, and no Party Hereafter, a lot of people take solace in both, and, well, it does make the glory of War a little sweeter. Just ask the Klingons. 


Nobody Really Lives For "Today"
I mean, we like to think we do, but most of us are living a month at a time, or not thinking about living at all. We just do it. Or at least we think that we'll live forever. If not forever, at least until our 70s. And if we did live just for today, or "for today" we might do the things that would jeopardize peace tomorrow, like stealing, lying, killing, cheating, and the worse parts of self-interest. 

Nobody Really Wants No Countries.
C'mon Lennon! We LOVE boundaries! As nice as it sounds, people need a sense of geographical identity. Unless they're Mennonites. Or from Jersey. And it should be "Imagine there aren't any countries" (grammar note).

Nobody Really Wants Nothing To Die For
Imagine there is nothing to kill or die for? What? John come on! Humans LOVE to kill, and die for the dumbest shit. Shoes, money, honor. These humans are NEVER going to give up dying for anything. Hell, even you died at the hands of some pudgy asshole for no reason. Oh, wait. 

Nobody Really Wants No Religion
330,000,000 million gods and 6,000 religions in the world and people are going to give this up? Religion is a way of life, even for atheists. Even the most lapsed Buddhist is going to say "Buddhist" at the hospital when they ask what religion he is. Maybe not. But if there were no religion, we would be all too quick to create it again. We need purpose to fill up our social hierarchy unless we want to admit that we're just walking protozoa in need of DNA replication and a few giggles before death.


Nobody Really Wants No Possessions
People LOVE their stuff. Even Communists. Even the hippiest of hippies at the most liberal commune loves one iota of "stuff." Even Monks begging in the street value their tunic and bowl. This one is too hard John. Even 18 month olds are greedy.

Nobody Really Wants A Brotherhood of Man
They just don't. Not even Fraternity Brothers and real brothers like each other that much. Imagine if you had 3 billion brothers and 3 billion sisters! The holidays would be awful.


Nobody Really Wants A Dreamer
People want cheap food, a couch, and entertainment. And freedom. And hugs. That's pretty much it John. 


Nobody Really Wants To Be "One" With The World
Whatever "one" means you can rest assured that less than 1 out of 10 people would want to suffer with someone else and share the awful existence that goes on in the world. Sure we'd like to share the beauty and wonder of existence, but most people only marry one person at a time. Imagine marrying ALL the World! Get it? Imagine? People like to be segregated, and think they're better than other people. United People is still a pipe dream. Even among United People you have terrible class structures. And this song is about destroying all class structures. 

"You may say that I'm a dreamer/But I'm not the only one/I hope someday you'll join us/And the world will live as one."


















(: I hope so John. Despite what I wrote, I'm with you. :) RIP.

How To Argue (on Facebook).

As someone who loves a good conversation or debate, I'm often found in the middle of an all out political brawl, and usually on Facebook. Seriously, we're talking 100-deep comments on one thread alone, usually between a conservative or Libertarian fundamentalist Puritan, his three friends, and me. And sometimes there's another Liberal as well, but usually the "other Liberal" packs it in early while I make the mistake of arguing way past any sane limit of time and letting it ruin my thinking life for the morning.

So here are some ground rules. When arguing:

1. Don't ever insult. It just angers your enemy and makes them think they've won because when we become defensive we think we're safe from being wrong for some reason. 

2. Don't be sarcastic. It comes off as anti-thetical, silly, and can even sound insulting, especially online where tone is hard to "hear."

3. Check your motives. Are you arguing because you want to be right or because you want someone to know you're right? Is it worth possibly alienating a friend or even looking stupid over? Even among the most closely aligned fundamentalists you have slight heretics.

4. Be right. That means take it seriously...check and recheck your facts and philosophy. There must be no room for error or bad logic! Philosophies' lives hang in the balance! Remember, it's all about getting the right answer and discovering the real Truth (whatever it is). And remember: you could be wrong. 

5. Avoid God and Abortion arguments. Fundamentalists on either side of any issue will just get mad when butting faces on Mybook and Facespace. And usually both sides think they're right and get real huffy and sarcastic. GUARANTEED you'll get to a point where both sides say "there's no evidence on your side so whey are you arguing" and then someone will bring up Hitler and genocide, and the fun mood will be lost. It never ends or builds up either side or argument. Sometimes it's fun, but in the end no one grows or learns. 

That's a start! And If you're interested in the right opinions, just ask me! I'm right about everything and will go to great lengths to prove it! :)

Harrison Kisses Zelda

Idea # 998

I'm going to blog through re-re-re-reading Walden. What do you think?

Me and A talk Pad Thai.

"What up."

"What up."

"Just deciding whether or not to eat this Pad Thai - it's like three or four days old."

"Yeah I'm like the king of leftovers. But T and her sister always want to throw things out right away. I think it's an evolutionary thing where men want to savor the kill for a few days and women want to throw it out. They're like, "Go hunt me something new."

"What do you write about?" he asked, "on your blog?"

"Well if you followed all my posts from Facebook, and I expanded them a bit and got more detailed, which is kind of what I want to do (I haven't really done my blog well yet, it's sort of just stuff about my kids and what not)..it's you know, family, life, music, politics, religion..."

"What's the point of a blog?"

"They're just narcissistic ramblings about your life and opinions and whatnot. Everyone has a blog. It's the easiest thing in the world. But the internet is a graveyard of blogs that started and weren't finished or picked up."

"Gonna eat that Pad Thai, then."

"Throw some extra peanuts on it and heat it up real good. Women are always afraid of like refrigerator bacteria."

"Gotta go."

"Bye now."

----and that's a blog post. :)

Conjunction Junction, What's The New Function? AND.

My boy said, "Mama and Dada" the other day...ha! Usually he says "Mama Dada Aunty" or "Mama Dada Baby." But he's using conjunctions now. It's a brave new world!

Rebuttal to "ClimateGate"

Read it Here.

Those who don't believe in Global Warming or Evolution can't then expect us to believe their version of "science."

So This Is Christmas...

Dear Obama,

War is over, if you want it to be.

What You "Should" Be Watching From Dawn til Dusk...

Having spent five days in the hospital with the wife and bambina after delivery, and now having spent a few days at home, I have a list of viewable (bearable) and "allowable" items (for middle to high class viewers) to watch, given you're a moderate to discerning couch sitter).

This is not to say that you shouldn't be reading or writing while the 2 year old runs around and the newborn sleeps, or you shouldn't be running around and playing with the 2 year old, or whatever, but if you're home, and you have all day to do nothing but reside in the same room as the tv, and it's on, and you want a few guidelines as to when the "viewable" items are on (and you're not some hyped up anti-tv luddite or modern culture critic) here you go:

Preface: Facebooking, blogging, and news-surfing online don't count as "tv time" so you can feel good about spending time on the computer. This is a guilt free action, especially if one of the kids is by your side watching Spongebob on nickjr.com, for example. Also if you watch any news on the tv, this will then cancel out any superfluous tv viewing. For example, if you drift off to zombie brain land and watch more than five minutes of Maury, you can then redeem yourself by watching five minutes of one of the cable news channels. The trick here is not to watch a ton of tv, but to do so with some sort of compass.

Ok, here's the list of guilt-free viewing ("what is good") on tv between the hours of waking up and dinnertime. I make the "dinnertime" distinction because if you were at work, then you'd get home around 5:30/6ish and maybe turn on the tv to news or a sitcom guilt free. You've earned. You just worked an 8 hour day. And note" Primetime tv is all good. No guilt there as long as you're done your homework and the kids are safe sleeping.

Ok, enough delay. You can watch the following guilt-free:

0. NO watching of Judge shows, Soaps, Jerry, Maury, Steve, or non-Oprah talk shows is allowed unless there's a guest on Ellen you like. Actually, Ellen is okay. Regis & Kelly -no. Kathie Lee & Hoda -no. Tyra - hell no. If there happens to be someone you like on one of these shows, you can tune in just for that segment.

1. The first (ONLY the first) half hour of the Today Show. The rest is silly nonsense unless they're covering a real news story.

2. The first 20 minutes of The View and MAYBE a guest or two. The View is only allowable because they somewhat talk about real or political issues, however limited.

3. MAYBE the local news at noon. But remember, all local news is crap.

4. Anything DVR'd from Primetime or a rerun of the Daily Show (see graph #3). HOWEVER, anything like "3 hours of the Office" or "3 hours of Family Guy" is totally a waste. You're not taping that anyway, are you?

5. Oprah (as long as it's a hard hitting guest or social topic. Anything celebrity related is off limits unless the celebrity is helping a charity or social cause).

6. Any "baby" shows (Deliver Me, Bringing Home Baby, et al) are allowable.

7. Anything rerun on Bravo from Primetime hours can be acceptable.

8. SportsCenter updates are always allowable, but not for extended periods.

9. The only thing allowable to watch on MTV is the "True Life" show or maybe the Alexa Chung show.

10. And of course, if you have kids, watching Nick Jr. or Disney at certain periods of the day is always allowable and judgment-free.

World AIDS Day 2009

Just a quick note to remember those I've worked with and who have lost their lives to AIDS and HIV. You are remembered and loved.

One Fidy* A Day...

Our little gear-head (read: future engineer) and resident artist son is in the middle of a holiday where he gets one "fidy" (*his word for car, truck, train, or plane, although he now knows the word car, truck, and train) a day until my Matchbox stash runs out.

I thought maybe this could be a December tradition - sort of like a pre-emptive "Matchbox Hanukkah" only lasting 16 days because, well, I have 15 cars to give and one of his old cars ended up in the secret bag I'm keeping the newer models.

Each morning I present to him a new car and tell him all about it, and then introduce it to the other cars and car-size toys. Disney charges a hell of a lot for their "Cars" brand cars, so I'm sticking to the $.97 per car Matchboxes - or Hot Wheels.

When he's old enough I plan on learning all the parts of the engine with him. If he follows my model, he'll start with cars, then action figures, and then writing, and forget all about cars until he's 16 and needs to know how to drive and what "Regular Unleaded" means.

Already he's filled 4 large pads and journals with drawings, and none of the drawings are cars. But maybe by the time our dye-cast model car December Tradition is done he'll be outlining carburetors and fuel lines and asking me about our 6valve vs. VTech. We'll see. Vroom vroom.

Four Of Us Riding Nowhere...

Today...our first outing and ride as a full-car four-of-us family. Granted we were just returning a baby-wrap sling to Target, we did one of our favorite things: take a coastal ride listening to NPR to get tea and coffee while the kid - make that kids - nap. Both Harrison and Zelda slept the whole time. Throw in a Redbox movie and a bag of animal crackers, and you've got the cheapest family outing a father could ask for. Tanya and I have been taking rides for years now, and we know every inch of the North Shore's 127 and 127A from Rockport to Gloucester down to Lynn and Nahant and back up again. Their isn't a nook on the Cape we haven't physically (while driving) mapped out and slowed down in order to stop and smell the sea air more than a hundred times. Once we kept driving and ended up spending two weeks across America. That was before kids. And now that we have them, they'll see their fair share of the moving sky outside the window while dad keeps his hands at 10 and 2 and mom adjusts the volume on the radio.

It is a wonderful life.

The Girl Is Born!

Zelda Joan McKeen, born at 10:54 a.m. on November 22, 2009...perfectly beautiful and amazing. Our little girl.

Don't Bite The Baby...

(Newborn Zelda on left, newborn Harrison on right).

When our son Harrison was born, one of our sleepless-stuck-in-the-apt-jokes was "don't bite the baby," meaning that we loved him so much it was tempting to bite him - you know how that is, when you love someone you just want to bite them? Anyway, "don't bite the baby" became a running joke at our then apartment, and eventually our best advice on parenting.

My daughter was born a week ago and the wife and I are old pros already. She - Zelda Joan - is sweet and perfect and amazingly beautiful in every way. And Harrison is already noticing her (he tries hard to ignore her, but he's already kissed her a few times and said her name four times), as two year olds will act around things that don't directly benefit but may impede their style somehow.

I love being a father. And it's crazy that I have kids. Kids. Plural. Wow, kids.

So remember, if it cries, attend to it. If it pees or poops, clean it. If it's hungry, feed it. And as much as you want to, don't bite the baby.

Once Again, For the First Time...

BLOG!

I'm starting one up again although I write every day on Facebook and have several blogs out there in the ether. 48 weeks ago I was writing weekly on : http://jeremymckeen.livejournal.com/ and now I'll see where this will take me.

Feel free to comment as much as possible!

I start blogs the way I start passwords...I create one sacred, blog to end all blogs, then forget about it, have to be reminded, and start all over again in a year.

Copyright Don't Steal My Stuff (c) 2009.