Having spent five days in the hospital with the wife and bambina after delivery, and now having spent a few days at home, I have a list of viewable (bearable) and "allowable" items (for middle to high class viewers) to watch, given you're a moderate to discerning couch sitter).This is not to say that you shouldn't be reading or writing while the 2 year old runs around and the newborn sleeps, or you shouldn't be running around and playing with the 2 year old, or whatever, but if you're home, and you have all day to do nothing but reside in the same room as the tv, and it's on, and you want a few guidelines as to when the "viewable" items are on (and you're not some hyped up anti-tv luddite or modern culture critic) here you go:
Preface: Facebooking, blogging, and news-surfing online don't count as "tv time" so you can feel good about spending time on the computer. This is a guilt free action, especially if one of the kids is by your side watching Spongebob on nickjr.com, for example. Also if you watch any news on the tv, this will then cancel out any superfluous tv viewing. For example, if you drift off to zombie brain land and watch more than five minutes of Maury, you can then redeem yourself by watching five minutes of one of the cable news channels. The trick here is not to watch a ton of tv, but to do so with some sort of compass.
Ok, here's the list of guilt-free viewing ("what is good") on tv between the hours of waking up and dinnertime. I make the "dinnertime" distinction because if you were at work, then you'd get home around 5:30/6ish and maybe turn on the tv to news or a sitcom guilt free. You've earned. You just worked an 8 hour day. And note" Primetime tv is all good. No guilt there as long as you're done your homework and the kids are safe sleeping.
Ok, enough delay. You can watch the following guilt-free:
0. NO watching of Judge shows, Soaps, Jerry, Maury, Steve, or non-Oprah talk shows is allowed unless there's a guest on Ellen you like. Actually, Ellen is okay. Regis & Kelly -no. Kathie Lee & Hoda -no. Tyra - hell no. If there happens to be someone you like on one of these shows, you can tune in just for that segment.
1. The first (ONLY the first) half hour of the Today Show. The rest is silly nonsense unless they're covering a real news story.
2. The first 20 minutes of The View and MAYBE a guest or two. The View is only allowable because they somewhat talk about real or political issues, however limited.
3. MAYBE the local news at noon. But remember, all local news is crap.
4. Anything DVR'd from Primetime or a rerun of the Daily Show (see graph #3). HOWEVER, anything like "3 hours of the Office" or "3 hours of Family Guy" is totally a waste. You're not taping that anyway, are you?
5. Oprah (as long as it's a hard hitting guest or social topic. Anything celebrity related is off limits unless the celebrity is helping a charity or social cause).
6. Any "baby" shows (Deliver Me, Bringing Home Baby, et al) are allowable.
7. Anything rerun on Bravo from Primetime hours can be acceptable.
8. SportsCenter updates are always allowable, but not for extended periods.
9. The only thing allowable to watch on MTV is the "True Life" show or maybe the Alexa Chung show.
10. And of course, if you have kids, watching Nick Jr. or Disney at certain periods of the day is always allowable and judgment-free.
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